Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize