my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
