I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
