How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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