I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
