the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
so explain again why im purple
no
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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