My first STD was from a foam party
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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