Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
