i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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