Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Text me some of your sweat
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
