Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
