and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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