u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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