Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
