dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
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