No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize