Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
