It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
