I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Are we still banned from the library?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
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