it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
The air was thick with penises
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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