TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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