For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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