i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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