My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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