She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
