Buhtt sex?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Dignity is for republicans.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
