So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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