drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize