walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
