How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
