I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Everyone says I win the strip club
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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