I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize