If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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