You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
