if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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