Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
