there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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