im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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