I think my fart just growled at me.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You are a genius and a whore.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize