apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
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