"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
