Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
