What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
