it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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