My hair reeks of homosexuality.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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