ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
