I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
