been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
