Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
