so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
