i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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