Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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