That's when you crack a 10am beer
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
