Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
