maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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