I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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