Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
