she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
