i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
