Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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